Finn's Excuses
by PaperballThoughts
Summary: Multiple scenario ideas post episode 4x03. Right after Finn sees Brody behind Rachel. My ideas on how Finn might deal with the situation by making excuses. Each chapter will start with a different excuse. FINCHEL FOREVER!
1. Prologue

**A/N: Multiple scenario ideas post episode 4x03. Different ideas about Finn's excuse for leaving the army and appearing at Rachel's door.  
I can't wait until next week's episode, despite the constant warnings we get from the cast about needing tissues to watch it. All I'm left with are ideas on how the Finchel reunion would go right after Finn sees Brody in the loft with Rachel. Except all my ideas have Finn being awkward and making lame excuses just to avoid the tension and embarrassment of arriving unannounced.**

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, Fox does. I did not create Glee, Ryan Murphy did. I do own the season DVDs though._

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**PROLOGUE**

Rachel opens the door, a wide smile on her face, still feeling the lingering emotions following the kiss she shared with Brody. Her face suddenly falls as she takes a proper look at the person who dared ruin her first hopeful moment since she boarded the 4:25 to New York.

Finn Hudson. The love of her life stood before her. _No._ He used to be the love of her life until he forced her to go to New York alone. After cancelling their wedding plans. After breaking up with her, or as he called it he "set her free". After changing the future they had once imagined sharing together. In a single horrifying moment, Finn Hudson, the supposed "love of her life", took it upon himself to make life-altering decisions for her, without her.

Finn Hudson, the man who broke her heart into a million tiny pieces. Finn Hudson, the man to blame for the unending weeks of puffy eyes she had to endure. Finn Hudson, the man she will always unconditionally love, no matter the faults in his personality, or faulty decisions he makes for her. Still, Finn Hudson will also always be her first love, and her first real heartbreak.

His hair was cropped and he seemed to have a newfound glowing confidence in him. His shoulders weren't hunched in the way they used to be in high school, which made his demeanor seem a lot more mature. Rachel stood still on her spot, not daring to let go of the door fearing that if she did, her knees would weaken and crumple to the floor in shock. _Finn. My Finn, who is supposed to be in the army. The same Finn who didn't contact me for almost three months now. Finn. What is he doing here? In New York?_

Rachel lost in her own thoughts, failed to notice the twinkle in Finn's eyes. The way he looked her over, as if trying to internally convince himself that the girl standing in front of him was indeed Rachel Berry. The love he so passionately felt for her emanated through his eyes, a contrast to the way Rachel looked at him. Her expression held a mix of love, confusion, hurt, and anger.

Their trance was broken when shuffling came from behind Rachel. Brody's appearance did not come unnoticed by Finn. He looked at the guy who seemed to be straightening himself up after what seemed to be an obviously intruded make-out session, and brought his gaze back to the girl whom he once proposed to. Rachel caught his eyes as she noticed the evident slump of his shoulders and the look of disapproval he clearly wanted her to see. His confident arrival slowly and visibly crumpled and as their eyes briefly met, she saw a glint of hurt from his usually soft and reassuring brown eyes.

Suddenly, the oxygen in the room seemed to be lacking, and the tension heightened more as the two people standing by the door refused to speak, not allowing themselves to have to deal with the reality of their situation. This seemingly awkward situation. This seemingly never-ending complex relationship that they share.

Footsteps were heard in the background and Finn looked up to see the guy approaching them. Finn took a step back away from the door and considered going back down to chase after the taxi that brought him here, and demand to bring him anywhere, anywhere away from this godforsaken awkwardly horrendous moment. He smiled a crooked smile, which looked more like a grimace, in an attempt to break the tension. _Quick Hudson, quick! Think of something, say anything to make you leave. Now!_

Rachel noticed Finn flinch when Brody slowly made his way towards the door. When he took a step away from it, she almost reached out to him, not wanting him to leave. Not until he explained his spontaneous arrival in New York, in her apartment. Not until he explained why he isn't currently in the army. _The army_, the one thing that gave them a reasonable excuse to be kept apart for so long. She refused to have him leave, despite their current situation. She needed a proper explanation. She decided on saying something to make him stay, anything to say to make him explain. Rachel opened her mouth hoping for nothing embarrassing to come out from it. But nothing came out, and she looked deep into his eyes, pleading him to stay with her eyes, hoping that he understood her signals.

Finn felt uncomfortable. It was obvious that he had just interrupted a date, considering the pizza box laying on the ground, the opened bottle of champagne and the purposely dimmed light of the room. He saw that Rachel was facing the same internal struggle and decided upon himself to make the first move. He stood up straighter and looked Rachel straight in the eyes, trying to ignore the mood in the room and the guy who seemed to be floating in the background. He smiled at her, and said,

"Hi."

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

****** A/N: ok i admit the prologue is more like a drabble right now, but tomorrow I'm posting Ch. 1: Excuse #1: "Where's-My-Gay-Stepbrother-Excuse"**

******feel free to review, criticize or say hi =)**


	2. Where's My Gay Stepbrother Excuse

**A/N: Just so everyone knows I'm a Finchel shipper. But I'm not entirely anti-Brochel. Wait—never mind, I am. But I understand what and why Brochel happened during The Makeover. I really don't like like, and I'm pretty sure I won't like what's going to happen in The Break Up either.**

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, the characters, etc…_

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**Lame Excuse #1: Where's My Gay Stepbrother Excuse**

_He stood up straighter and looked Rachel straight in the eyes, trying to ignore the mood in the room and the guy who seemed to be floating in the background. He smiled at her, and said, _

_"Hi."_

Rachel stayed rooted on her spot, not quite sure what to say. If she greeted him back that would give the impression that absolutely nothing had happened between the two of them over the summer; that her efforts to move on from Finn were simply forgotten. But what else was she left with? She didn't want to fight, at least not in front of Brody. _Brody._ What would she do about Brody? How could she ask him to leave after what they had just shared? But what else could she do, other than to spare him of the slowly simmering bitterness that was about to present itself toward Finn.

"I-I'm… Finn Hudson," She heard Finn stutter as he stretched his hand to shake Brody's while attempting to avoid her cold hard stare, "Um… I'm…" Finn thought hard. How should he introduce himself? He wasn't Rachel's fiancé anymore, not after his disastrous decision to break things off with her on their wedding day. Would it be appropriate to introduce himself as her ex? But that would just be spiteful taking into account the fact that he just disturbed them mid-date. Not to mention that he would sound like a jealous ex-lover, which he definitely was but he didn't want that to show. He finally decided on the safest option and relied with saying, "I'm Kurt's _gay_ stepbrother. I mean, Kurt's my gay stepbrother and I'm his straight stepbrother. Very straight stepbrother. Anyway, we're brothers."

Rachel noticed the labor he endured in attempting to introduce himself. He was clearly trying to keep his cool, trying to be as polite as possible. Oh how she loved how considerate Finn could be, regardless of how he felt at any moment. _He must feel crushed to see Brody in the room with me,_ she thought. _But he broke up with me, on our wedding day, I can't just forgive him that easily,_ she argued with herself.

"Brody. Brody Weston. And I was just about to leave." Brody said, as calm as he possibly could, and took Finn's hand to shake. He had heard of Finn. And Finn and Rachel and what had gone between the two over the summer. And what Rachel had to go through to get past it. He thought the sensible thing to do in the current situation was to just leave the two alone, to let them work their demons out. He liked Rachel enough to leave her with her ex, but as he made his way out the door he chanced a glance toward her, briefly give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and hoped that she wouldn't forget what they had just shared moments ago. "Call me?" he risked asking, as if reminding her not to forget about him, amidst the palpable tension rising between the two.

"Of course," Rachel whispered, emotionless, refusing to remove her eyes toward Finn. Brody quietly made his way out of the door, squeezing himself between the doorframe and Rachel, who seemed unable to move from her position. And in just a matter of a few seconds, Brody was gone.

The moment Finn saw Brody touch her, his fists clenched and he resorted to keep his eyes fixated on his shoes. Maybe this way, the guy never would have existed. Maybe if he didn't see the scene unfold before him, this situation might just be a dream—no, a nightmare. Maybe if he just kept staring at his worn out shoes, time would magically drift back to the time of their wedding day, a skewed universe where he hadn't broken them both. Maybe if he just kept staring at his shoes, Rachel would see through failure attempt at a confident posture, and forgive him for his mistakes. Forgive him for breaking them apart; forgive him for giving her too much space resulting in no contact for three months; forgive him for making decisions concerning her future without her consent; forgive him for being the biggest jerk of a fiancé anyone could have. Maybe if she forgave him right away, they could just forget what happened, forget that things had been horrible over these past few months, forget about the worst and live for now.

"Finn," He heard her say. He hadn't heard her say his name in months and just the soft tone in which she said his name almost melted his heart right on the spot. His insecurities were quickly thrown out the door. _Maybe this will turn out fine in the end_, he thought. Finn raised his head to look at her, smiling—but only to be shut down quickly letting his uncertainty come back. Her voice may have been gentle, but her gaze held the emotions she was clearly unable to verbalize: intense hurt, frustration, and a clear confusing struggle not knowing whether she should be happy to see him, or mad that he came unannounced. "What—um, what are you doing here?" she continued.

_I came here to win you back,_ he thought but refused to say aloud, afraid to be shut down. He'd had enough rejection over the past few months, and _She clearly doesn't want me back, in fact she's already moved on from what I just witnessed_. "I… I came to see Kurt, actually." He lied.

Rachel closed her eyes, feeling them get warmer and moist, trying to prevent herself from crying in front of Finn. "Kurt," she whispered, "Of course. He's your brother. You came to visit your brother." She managed to say, while keeping her eyes shut, but failing to keep the first tear from slowly making its way down her face.

"Uh… Yeah, he texted me about—" He didn't know what to say. He hadn't heard from Kurt in a while, just stories from emails he got from his mom and Burt sometimes. And he wasn't even allowed a cellphone at the camp, so texting Kurt would have been impossible to do. He wasn't quite sure what to say about Kurt, and was glad she had interrupted him.

"You've…You've been in contact with Kurt?!" And there it was, Rachel's calm exterior faded as her true emotions surfaced. "I can't believe he lied to me. He said he hasn't heard from you either. I guess… I guess you're brothers, you're _family._ That's what matters to you—not me, your…your _fiancé_." She removed her hand from the door and stomped her way into the loft. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to come in, follow her into her new home.

"I…" _Think of something Hudson! You're making her cry._ "I heard about his internship and—" That part wasn't a lie, he'd heard of Kurt's internship with some online magazine about clothes, just… not from Kurt.

"I can't _believe_ this!" she yelled, and with this Finn decided to step into the loft, closing the door behind him allowing them some privacy. "I thought Kurt and I were close enough to not lie to each other" clearly feeling betrayed by her best friend.

"I came here to surprise him," he continued with another lie. After being discharged from camp, he decided that life was too short and took the next bus to New York, to surprise Rachel. Rachel Berry, the love of his life.

"Well Kurt's not here. He's celebrating something at work," she glared at him, "I guess I don't need to tell you what he's celebrating since you've been talking to each other this whole time." Her voice rose while openly showing her heartbreak. Rachel turned her back, not wanting to face him. She closed her eyes more tightly, forcing herself to stop tearing up, only to have more tears freely come out anyway. Kurt, who convinced her to just be patient. Kurt, who convinced her to do a make-over, and clear herself of her past to move on with her life. "I can't believe Kurt lied to me," she said with her back still facing Finn.

The hurt in her tone felt like daggers in Finn's heart. He realizes that with his lie, he had just thrown his brother under the bus, for something he hadn't even done. He realized that his lie only made things worse. Had he not learned anything from these past few months? Was it not his intention to go to New York to fix things with Rachel? The only thing he had accomplished was a lie, a lie that could rip apart his brother's friendship with Rachel. He had to fix this mess, the mess he had expertly let unfold. "Don't be mad at Kurt,"

"And why shouldn't I be?" she retorted as she sharply turned back to Finn, finally finding the courage to show him her apparent anger. She decided that maybe if he saw how distraught she was, he'd explain himself.

"Because Kurt doesn't even know I'm here, he doesn't know anything…" He added, hoping she would understand what he meant to say.

"Well that's the whole point of a surprise right? The person is not supposed to know? Just like how surprised I am right now to find out that Kurt's relationship with you was much closer than I was informed." She crossed her arms, as she suddenly felt an unexpected chill in the room.

Finn took a deep breath, closed his eyes and used all of the remaining confidence he had left, to finally say what he came to New York for. "Kurt doesn't know I'm here because…" he gathered some more courage to lift his head up, to look her straight in the eyes, hoping that what he was about to say would convey how much he felt for her through his gaze. He took a couple brave steps toward her, only stopping when she took a step away from him. Finn refused to let that crumble his poise and continued walking toward her. He took his hands out of his pockets to slowly and gently grip her by the elbows, rubbing them with his thumbs, hoping she would relax a little. When he finally felt the tension gradually dissolve from her body, he said,

"Kurt doesn't know I'm here, because we haven't been talking. I lied." and he felt her stiffen yet again, so he decided to speak faster, "I lied because I was afraid of you," he felt her body shake, "I didn't come to New York to surprise Kurt, because well… Even though I love the dude because he's my brother, why the hell would I want to surprise him?" Rachel closed her eyes as tears started to form once more. "Why would I choose to surprise him when there's someone more important for me to surprise." Finn risked touching her face, stroking her tears away to prevent more from accumulating, not realizing that his own face started to dampen as well, "Rachel," he urged her to open her eyes; for her to see how much love he was feeling for her. "Rachel Berry I came to New York to surprise _you_."

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**A/N: I just want to say that if you liked this scenario and you want a better ending, I'm sorry. The only ideas I had for the setting was Finn's lame excuses for his unannounced arrival.**

**So If you like a scenario, PM me and let me know, and maybe I could turn it into a longer A/U story with a plot arc or something like that.**

**Next chapter will be Excuse #2: I'm Here To Help Blaine Fix Klaine Excuse**

**Anyway, review, criticize or say hi =)**

**Thank you for reading!**


	3. Im Here To Help Blaine Fix Klaine Excuse

**A/N: Finchel Forever. Even if Brochel makes a lot of sense for the sake of plot, character development and etc… And as much as I love Klaine, their love story is just unrealistic if they don't break up during episode 4. Same for Finchel. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T HATE THAT IT'S STILL HAPPENING =(**

**So this is Excuse #2, so it starts right from the ending of the Prologue where Finn says hi.**

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, I didn't create anything… But if I did, I would be avoiding us from going through the heartache that will be Episode 404_

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**Lame Excuse #2: I'm Here To Help Blaine Fix Klaine Excuse**

_He stood up straighter and looked Rachel straight in the eyes, trying to ignore the mood in the room and the guy who seemed to be floating in the background. He smiled at her, and said, _

_"Hi."_

Rachel was shell-shocked, unable to believe that Finn was really standing in front of her. She felt a hand grip her shoulder from behind and jumped at the sudden contact, bringing her back to reality. She looked behind her to find Brody, giving her a worried look.

"You must be Brody," her attention immediately snapped back to Finn, wrinkling her eyebrows in apparent confusion at his mention of Brody, "Kurt told me about you. I'm Finn Hudson, Kurt's stepbrother." Rachel stared at Finn as he offered Brody a friendly handshake. Surprisingly enough, Brody accepted the handshake. She looked back at the man behind her and attempted to give him an apologetic look. _This must be so awkward for him, especially after that kiss._

"Nice to meet you Finn, I've heard a lot about you too." Rachel felt uncomfortable with the friendly exchange between the two men, were they not feeling how difficult this situation was, or was she the only one? "You're sort of the main subject of Rachel's stories from back home," Brody grinned at Finn, while Finn countered with a lopsided smile, surprise and confusion showing on his face. Rachel couldn't believe it, how could they be taking this situation so lightly? "Or at least you were," Rachel didn't miss the somber tone he projected, Brody looked at her sadly and finally said, "Well, anyway. I should go; you two probably have some…things to talk about. Or something." He gently squeezed Rachel again, nodded to Finn and slowly made his way out of the door.

"Brody," Rachel called, "I…I'm so sorry." She sighed, letting her shoulders slump in defeat.

"Don't worry about it. You know how to reach me if… Just…you know where to find me." And with a final smile, Brody left. Rachel watched him leave until she was sure that he wouldn't be coming back any time soon. She needed to work things out with Finn before she could start anything with Brody. Sure, her departure from the 4:25 for New York may have seemed like the end of her relationship with Finn, but neither of them had actually confirmed the breakup. All he had told her was that he was "setting her free", but he had never really broken up with her. That's why Rachel waited for him for three whole months. She didn't allow herself to start a new life in New York until she knew what was really going on between Finn and her. Were they still engaged? The wedding never happened but did they ever break off their engagement? Wait, forget being engaged, are they even still together? Three months is a long time to wait, even worse with the added lack of contact.

And then Brody came along. He provided her friendship, he provided her possibilities and new opportunities to finally get on with her new life in New York. Three months ago, the old Rachel would have turned down Kurt's suggestion of a makeover. The old Rachel wouldn't even have given the slightest attention to the person singing "Sister Christian" in the co-ed shower of the dorms. Old Rachel would have stayed in her room, wallowing in lonely misery while her roommate slept with every single guy at NYADA. But that was three months ago, the new Rachel was a stronger person. An upgraded version of the Rachel people once knew from McKinley High. This Rachel from three months after the disastrous train day, realized that she could survive New York without Finn. She would make friends, stand up to her teachers and live a new life, without Finn.

Until he came knocking on her door looking like his goofy cute self, and all the emotions Rachel had worked so hard to push away came back in one fell swoop. No, she couldn't let herself go back to that dark place. "Finn. What are you doing here?" she said to him, inviting him into her loft. Finn entered her new home and took a look around. He noticed the pizza boxes on the floor, the empty bottles of champagne, and the scattered candlelight holders softly illuminating the room.

"Oh my God, Rachel…Did I just…Were you on a date?" Finn looked at her, disdain and hurt completely wiped off his face, as absolute panic flooded replaced it. "What…What am I thinking, of course you were on a date. You're Rachel Berry, who wouldn't want to date you" she blushed at his sudden compliment.

"Finn," she tried to ask again only to be interrupted with the start of one of Finn's ramblings.

"Oh God, Rach, I didn't mean to disturb your date. Well…It's not like I knew you were on a date. It's more like…I should have called first. Were you having fun? Oh wait don't answer that, actually, forget I even said that." Finn started to fidget not shy about showing his discomfort. "So Brody huh? He seems like a nice guy. I heard about him from Kurt. Well, no actually not from Kurt since I haven't seen or spoken to him in three months but,"

"Finn." Rachel tried a third time, feeling herself starting to get irritated at Finn's incoherent speech.

"Kurt told Blaine about Brody and Blaine told me about him and so earlier when I told Brody that I heard about him from Kurt, that was a lie. But then I figured that Brody doesn't know Blaine and he's probably met Kurt, so I said that Kurt told me about him, even if it was a lie," Finn looked up to the ceiling, making hand gestures as if trying to make sense of what he had just said in his head. "Wait did any of that make any sen—"

"FINN!" Rachel had had enough of his rambling. Finn looked at Rachel to find her fists clenched and breathing hard. "Just…Forget about my date for a second and please just answer me. What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's a bit of a long story. So, maybe, um… Maybe sit down first. And calm down." Rachel glared at him for telling her to calm down, how could she be calm when he came unannounced and started rambling about random things? "Ok, maybe don't calm down. But relax a little?" she kept a fixed glare toward his direction, "Ok, don't calm down, don't relax but at least don't forget to breathe while I tell you the story, alright?" Rachel closed her eyes for a second and made her way to the couch. She plopped herself down crossing her legs and grabbed the nearest pillow. Rachel patiently looked at Finn expectantly.

"Ok then. Where to start? So, as you know, I've been at Fort Benning doing my training for the army," Rachel flinched at the memory, still finding it hard to accept that Finn had really joined the army to honor his father, "And they're really hard on us there, they don't give you any excuses to be "pussies" or anything. But the trainers over there really liked me. They said I had a motivation that the others didn't have, and that at the rate I was going, I'd be deployed soon." Rachel closed her eyes again, despite their rough relationship, just the mere though of Finn being deployed was too hard for her to handle. She didn't want it to ever happen, she wouldn't be able to handle it if anything happened to Finn. "And I honestly didn't think too much about it, you know? I just wanted to work really hard, because in my mind, the better the job I accomplish, the faster I get this over with. I'll be done honoring my dad, maybe I'd have the guts to apply for college again, who knows."

Rachel felt a tears form in her eyes, finding herself unable to control her emotions, not when Finn talked about deployment and maybe, someday planning his future. The hardest part for her was hearing him talk about his future, and he never once mentioned her in them.

"But, you know, apparently when you worked hard to get to something, people start to notice. They like you; and next thing you know you've made the list of the top 50 contenders of the camp considered for deployment in the next couple months." Finn beamed at himself, giving Rachel a wide grin in attempt to lift her mood up. "I mean can you believe it Rach? I'm actually in the top 50? I'm in the top 50 for the army, me! The kid who couldn't even get any recruitment deals for football. And football training is _nothing_ compared to training at boot camp." Rachel couldn't take it anymore, hearing Finn degrade his accomplishments in high school as if they meant nothing. But most of all, she was having a hard time grasping every word he said about his newfound excitement at the training camp.

"Finn, while I…I…love… hearing about your success at camp, I would just really like to know why you're here. Here in New York. In my apartment, you know" she quickly wiped her tears away and looked at him more with less resentment.

"Oh, well I'm almost there, so…just hold on a little longer?" With a curt nod from Rachel, Finn continued on with his story, "I guess long story short, I did so well at camp, that I received my first deployment letter two days ago and I was given a weekend pass to visit my mom and Burt back in Lima before I leave next week." Rachel gasped at the news, her throat closing in on her, and she found it hard to breathe, it got even worse when the world started spinning around her. "Rachel? Rach? Are you okay?" Finn must have walked toward her because, he was now right next to her on the couch, rubbing her back in a comforting motion.

"You…" Rachel tried to speak but found it hard, since she was still barely breathing, "You got deployed? And you're leaving next week?" he nodded. "For how long?"

"The standard deployment to Afghanistan is 12 months" His textbook tone made her feel sick.

"Is that why you came here, Finn? You wanted to tell me in person that you're…" Rachel didn't want to say the words. She felt that if she said them, it would only make it more real, "deployed for 12 months and you're leaving next week?" Rachel tried to hide the sadness from coming out through her voice, but she failed.

Finn was torn. That was exactly his initial plan. Get on the next flight to New York from Lima, find Rachel, and tell her the news and fix things with her before heading off to battle war. He didn't want to leave without fixing things with Rachel. But he had run into Blaine earlier that night at Breadsticks during a McKinley celebration for class president, which he had won. He wanted to treat his mother and Burt to a dinner, but it backfired when breadsticks was closed for reservation.

So instead of going back home with his mom and Burt back home for pizza, he stayed at the party and hung out with the rest of the glee club. For most of the time he had hung out with Blaine and talked about Rachel, Kurt, New York, and their new lives. Finn told Blaine his news as well as his plans to go see Rachel later that same night. But Blaine told him that it was a horrible idea. That it would just crush Rachel even more to find out that he was really going into the battlefield. It was already hard on her to find out that he had joined the army, but telling her about his deployment could break her. He said that it would only be selfish of him to dump all this news on Rachel while he still goes to leave for war. Blaine suggested that he should just write her a letter and to keep it short and simple, to spare her from the shock of hearing it in person. Especially since she hasn't heard from him in months, and such news could be torrential. But Finn couldn't do anything about it. His plane ticket was non-refundable, and he wasn't one to waste well-earned money. So he set off to the airport and made his way to see Rachel anyway. Despite the counter arguments made against his initial plans.

"Actually, no" He lied, and his heart broke when Rachel's face fell. Should he just tell her the truth? "I bumped into Blain in Lima and we talked a bit. You should have seen him Rach, he looked so sad." Rachel frowned in confusion,

"Why would he be sad? Is it because of Kurt? He misses him?" Finn nodded.

"More than that," he said, "It's not looking good for them. He feels that Kurt is in a different stage of his life, while he is feeling insignificant in high school. He said something about winning presidency at school when Kurt's got bigger celebrations for his new internship." Finn fiddled with his fingers, maybe he'd be able to tell Rachel the real reason he was there, without actually telling her. "Blaine feels left behind, making minor accomplishments while his boyfriend is slowly making a name for himself in New York." _This isn't going to work,_ he thought, "So I came here to talk to Kurt, see if maybe there's something I can do to help." Finn shrugged.

"That's really sweet of you Finn, but, why would you do that?" she looked at him questioningly.

_Maybe this could be my cue, I could try telling her the truth by saying_, "Because I don't want to leave for my deployment knowing if relationships I once knew to be great would be falling apart while I'm gone. I want to be able to…help fix things." Finn stared into Rachel's eyes, urging her to read between the lines.

"Finn, are you…what are you trying to say?" Rachel kept his eyes locked with hers, refusing to let them go.

_I should just come clean, there's no point in trying to hide anything from her at this point._ Finn cleared his throat, took Rachel's left hand and sandwiched it between his. He rubbed the empty spot where he engagement ring had been. "Rachel, I…" They both jumped when they heard the door to the loft open loudly, followed by the loudest falsetto gasp, letting them know that Kurt had just arrived home.

"Finn!?"

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**A/N: I know the ending is crappy, but I didn't want to end it all sappy, or too emotional, and if I didn't do that, anything else just sounded so stupid. So, I'm sorry for the crappy ending.**

**Also, thank you to those who reviewed the first two chapters and to the ones who also PM'ed me some ideas! I'm still surprised that people are even reading this. So if you are, thank you for taking your time to read my first published fanfic. =)**

**Anyway, review, criticize or say hi =)  
Again thank you for reading!**


	4. This Was A Mistake

**A/N: This was hard for me to write because 1. I had midterms last week; 2. It's hard to not like on The Break Up episode because it was well executed even though my OTPs are over (for now); 3. I got lazy. FINCHEL FOREVER THOUGH…I still have hope! =)**

**In this scenario, Finn doesn't say "hi" at the end of the Prologue**

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee and if I did, the Break Up episode wouldn't have been well done…_

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**Excuse #3: This Was a Mistake Part 1**

_He stood up straighter and looked Rachel straight in the eyes, trying to ignore the mood in the room and the guy who seemed to be floating in the background. He smiled at her, and said,_

"I… I'm sorry," Finn took a step back and looked around him for the closest exit, "This was a mistake I shouldn't have come. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry for disturbing you." He doesn't dare look at Rachel, hoping that his disbelief didn't show much on his face. It stung to know that Rachel had so quickly moved on from him, how easily it was for her to forget about him and move on to the next guy. The worst part was that she didn't even look all that guilty, mostly shocked. _What did you expect Hudson, _he thought, _after what you've put her through over the summer did you really think she wouldn't be surprised to see you?_

Before Finn knew it, he was out on the street, feeling a cold night breeze on his damp face. He pulled on his sleeve to wipe the tears off his face hoping to God that he would stop before anyone saw him cry in public. His breath hitched as he tried to take a breath in hopes to calm himself down. "Son, are you okay?" he jumped in surprise as he heard a strained, gravelly voice behind him. He looked back to see a look of concern coming from the homeless man who took shelter by a wall ten feet away from Kurt and Rachel's apartment entrance.

"I-I'll be fine sir, thank you. It's…uh, it's a little cold tonight, Y-you should…" Finn dug his hand into his back pocket and took out four single dollar bills, "Here, you should go buy yourself a coffee sir. Keep yourself warm." He handed the change to the old man and offered him a weak smile. The homeless man looked at Finn in disbelief and said,

"You'll go a long way son, your selflessness will get you far. Whatever it is you're upset about won't matter if you just keep on being kind to others like you are to me." The man graciously accepted Finn's money, swiftly gathered his battered bag by the wall and walked off into the distance. _At least one person in this world thinks so…_ Finn thought as he watched the man's figure slowly merge in with the darkness. He looked around the neighborhood wondering where to go next. His initial plan was to visit Rachel, surprise her,and hopefully work things out for the better. But his plans were quickly washed down the drain when he realized that Rachel had already moved on from him, all his hopes of fixing his relationship with her and explaining himself were now off the plate. He decided to turn back to the direction of the apartment building door, walking in the opposite path from where the homeless man had gone. Finn tried to look for street names, hoping to recognize one when he bumped into someone,

"Oh, I'm sorry. I am so sorry, I'm so tall that sometimes I forget to look down and try not to crush the shor— " Finn stopped his rambling as he realized who exactly he had bumped into. He recoiled, took three steps back and whispered, "_Rachel?_"

"Finn! There you are!" Rachel said, failing to hide the concern from her voice, "I've been looking for you! Why did you just leave like that?"

"I didn't want to disturb you and your…_friend_" Finn didn't exactly know who the guy was, and he didn't want to say that Rachel had a new boyfriend; it would only make it more real.

"He…He's gone. I made him go home. And then I started looking for you." Rachel crossed her arms defensively feeling how uncomfortable the situation was getting. "Hey, it's a little cold, why don't we go upstairs and…talk?"

"I don't know, Rach. I was just going to find a taxi and—"

"Please?"

"I…Are you sure? I don't want to, you know, disturb you, make things uncomfortable." Finn clutched at his army bag and watched cars pass by wishing he could be in one of them, driving far away from this mess.

"Come on," Rachel took a risky step toward Finn to reach for his free hand, "You look like you need some coffee, and then we can talk and maybe…catch up?" Finn sighed and allowed her to drag him back up to her loft.

Once inside the apartment, Rachel went straight to a small makeshift kitchen and started making a pot of coffee. Finn stayed standing by the door, looking around nervously. He took in his surroundings avoiding Rachel's eyes. There were curtains dividing what looked like Kurt and Rachel's "rooms" in the far wall. An old futon couch faced an empty wall, to the right of the entrance door, which he assumed must have been an empty space for a missing TV. His eyes diverted back to the kitchen where he saw a small patio table with four mismatched stools hidden under it. Some walls were painted in random lively colors, while some were left blank to show the exposed brick wall. He noticed a white splotch on one of the walls and wondered why Kurt would even allow something so unattractive out in the open.

"Do you like it? It's not much, but Kurt and I tried our best to make it look nice, and so far, it's home. At least home here, in New York."

_I guess this is the shoebox apartment she was talking about a few months ago._ Finn glanced at Rachel, and felt uncomfortable at her friendly demeanor. He hated having to be the one to say something first but his hurt and curiosity won him over, "So who was that guy," he said as calm as he possibly could.

Rachel shifted awkwardly and wrapped her arms around her, just like she did downstairs. "Brody. He…he's just a friend from NYADA. We're just friends."

"Well it didn't look like that to me." Finn looked at Rachel with as much disdain as possible. He recounted their disputes a couple of years ago when Rachel had kissed Puck in revenge for a slight misunderstanding. He remembered how they reconciled before performing at Regionals, and how they had promised to each other during the following summer how they would never cheat on each other, no matter the situation. Finn felt betrayed and wanted to leave New York.

"We're just friends Finn," Rachel insisted.

"Are you sure? Because when you opened the door earlier, it looked like you were on a date."

Rachel took a step towards Finn and locked her eyes with his, hoping that he would listen to every word she had to say about the situation, "Ok, we were on a date. We kissed," Finn winced and took another step back, only to realize that he was now leaning against the door, "We kissed _once_. Only that one time. And then once I saw you behind that door, I quickly forgot about it. It didn't mean anything anymore. When I saw you, I immediately remembered how much I love you and that kissing Brody was a terrible mistake."

"So you're saying, that if I didn't knock on your door tonight, the kiss would have meant something?"

"No! That's not what I meant, you're twisting my words Finn, and I'm not exactly the only one at fault here."

"That's exactly how it sounded to me. I just… I didn't know I meant so little to you, Rachel," Finn looked up at the ceiling attempting to keep Rachel from seeing the rage emanating from his eyes. "I never thought you'd cheat on me again," he whispered. Everything just seemed to be crumbling down around him. His girl was cheating on him, his career in the army was hanging by a thread, and he drew a blank every time he thought about his future. He thought that by visiting Rachel in New York, that he could maybe find his way back up again. Perhaps being in the presence of the girl he loved would help him find his way again. But things didn't seem quite right. In fact, things seemed to get worse when he tried to do something concerning his life. His relationships, his future whether at Pace or in the army, anything really. For some reason, nothing ever seemed to go in the right direction when he tried making things better for his life.

The room was suddenly struck by an uncomfortable silence and Finn rapidly lost control of his breathing. Before he knew it, he was slowly sliding down against the door toward the floor. The room spun and his vision blurred. He heard the faint sound of someone worriedly yelling his name multiple times, _Rachel probably_, he thought, and the world suddenly shut itself off.

Rachel hurried to Finn's unmoving body by the door and tried to lay him down flat on his back. "FINN!" She removed his bag from his shoulder and gently stroked his face with a trembling hand and pressed two fingers by his throat and gave a sigh of relief upon finding his pulse. She jumped a little when she realized how fast his it seemed to beat. She brought her ear close to his nose and mouth to check if he was still breathing and was glad to feel air coming from his nostrils.

Tears streamed down her face as she forced herself up to frantically search in her bag for her cell phone. She quickly dialed Kurt's number and impatiently waited for him to answer her call. Every time she looked back at Finn, motionless on the ground, her heart broke. She heard a loud high-pitched sound coming from the kitchen and realized that she still had the pot on the stove, the pot of boiling water for Finn's coffee. _Finn fainted and he's probably gonna need more than just coffee right now, _she thought. She pressed her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she quickly turned the stove off and moved the steaming pot to the sink.

"Rachel, I can't talk right now, Isabelle is about to introduce me to the big boss and—" Rachel was pleased to hear Kurt finally answer his phone.

"Kurt, it's me... and Finn... He…" Rachel started but began to sob even harder.

"Finn? What about Finn? Is he alright? Did something happen to him in the army?"

"No, he's fine. I mean, he's not fine he… He came to the apartment and then he, he left because he saw Brody and then… Anyway Kurt it's a long story. But, he fainted and I don't know what to do." Rachel crouched back down next to Finn on the floor, caressing his hair.

"Oh," On the other end of the line, Rachel could hear Kurt sigh, knowing that he must have so many questions for her about Finn. If only he knew the amount of questions she had for Finn as well, but at the moment, she was just worried that he wouldn't wake up. "Did you try slapping him?"

"I don't want to hit him Kurt! He looks exhausted and I honestly don't know what he's been through lately but even if I really want to smack him for what he did to me at the train station, I don't think I have the heart to do it while he's unconscious."

"Ok then how about spilling ice cold water on his face? If that doesn't work call 911. Rachel, try that, then call me if it doesn't work and I'll be home as soon as I can. He'll be fine honey, you'll be fine." Rachel took in Kurt's comforting words and silently nodded forgetting that Kurt wouldn't be able to see her movement. She hung up the phone, strolled towards the kitchen and filled a glass with cold water. She carefully made her way back to Finn's still unconscious body and abruptly poured the water on his face.

Finn jolted upright and took multiple breaths. He looked around him ready to pounce on the prankster who decided it would be funny to pour water on him while he slept. His face fell when his eyes found Rachel next to him and he realized that he wasn't in the bunkers at the camp, he was in New York. "What happened?" he looked at her, confusion clearly marked on his face.

"You fainted. We were talking and all of a sudden you were falling and, at first I thought you were having a heart attack because you were clutching your chest," she closed her eyes, as if reliving the moment, "but then your eyes rolled back and all of a sudden you were on the floor and then I realized that you fainted" She took his hand and helped him up to lead him on the futon, "I'm glad you're ok." Rachel looked at him with a genuine smile.

Finn suddenly remember what had happened. Rachel was making coffee, they were talking about her date that he had interrupted, and then the room started spinning. "That makes sense. Must've been 'cause I haven't slept for the past 28 hours." Finn gave a worried Rachel a small shrug and quickly continued talking before she got to say anything about his lack of sleep, "But it was more than just that. Rachel, we need to talk." And with that, Finn looked down, "I initially came here to visit you. I had a plan. I wanted to fix things with us. I… You've already found someone else and I think…" he looked back up at her, tears forming in his eyes again, blurring his vision, "I made a mistake in coming here and maybe… You'd feel better if I just ended things with you officially"

Rachel looked at Finn with a dumbfounded expression. Rage started to boil within her and she managed to say, "No."

"_What?_"

Rachel took Finn's big hand in her smaller ones and said, "You said "we need to talk" so, you can't just say that, make the break up official and just expect me to take it. I think you need to rest a bit and we can _really_ talk about this tomorrow. Together. We both have some explaining to do and we'll be better talking about..._us... in...good health._" She moved her hand to his cheek and finally said, "Please?"

Finn was relieved to hear her say those words. It gave him hope that maybe they could still fix things between them so he said, "Ok. Tomorrow then."

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**A/N:** **I'm splitting this into two parts because… well this is all I had written and I just forgot to publish it on Friday. So there will be a Part 2 to this scenario, and it will be "the talk".**

**BTW, what did you guys think of The Break Up episode?**

**Anyway, review, criticize or say hi =)  
Again thank you for reading and to those who reviewed the previous chapters!**


	5. This Was A Mistake pt 2

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of Glee…_

Previously:

_Rachel took Finn's big hand in her smaller ones and said, "You said "we need to talk" so, you can't just say that, make the break up official and just expect me to take it. I think you need to rest a bit and we can talk about this tomorrow." She moved her hand to his cheek and finally said, "Please?"_

_Finn was relieved to hear her say those words. It gave him hope that maybe they could still fix things between them so he said, "Ok. Tomorrow then."_

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~**

**Excuse #3: This Was a Mistake Part 2**

Rachel woke to the sound of a whispered conversation and the lingering smell of freshly brewed coffee coming from the other side of the curtains that separated her "room" from the rest of the loft. She glanced at her clock to learn that it was only quarter to eight in the morning. Rachel quietly sighed to herself, knowing that the three hours of shuteye she had managed to get from the previous night would not be enough to prepare her for the conversation she would soon be having with Finn. She pulled the covers over her head, trying to ignore the seemingly private conversation the stepbrothers were sharing. _You can do this,_ she thought, _less than a day ago you were ready to move on from him, what's a little talk going to do about that?_

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a muffled sniffle coming from the living room. "Hey now," she heard Finn say, "Kurt, you don't have to worry. I'll be fine. Everything's going to be all right." Rachel's brows furrowed in confusion, what could Kurt be worried about concerning Finn? Everyone had already been concerned for Finn when they found out about his plans to join the army, but the tone of Finn's comforting voice towards Kurt sounded like it was about something else entirely. She rose from her bed, quietly made her way to a small armchair by the window and grabbed her bathrobe.

She almost reached the curtain open, but stopped when she heard Kurt say, "Have you told Carole and dad yet?"

"Yeah, I went back home a couple of weeks ago and we're looking for a doctor to continue the treatments I had in Atlanta. I still have my medication," _Treatment and medication?_ Rachel thought, _what are they talking about?_ "And before anything started, I suddenly decided to come visit. You know, say hi… But turns out it was a bad idea." Rachel heard Kurt chuckle and was suddenly flooded with memories of the previous night: Finn knocking at the door right when she kissed Brody, Finn's disappointed look, Finn walking out, finding Finn with hurt written all over his face, Finn coming back up to the loft and questioning her, Finn fainting… _FINN FAINTED!_ Rachel scrambled to put the pieces of last night's events and the conversation she had been eavesdropping on together. Kurt and Finn's conversation must be the explanation to why Finn fainted the night before. Rachel ran her hand through her hair, took a deep breath and opened the curtains.

Finn and Kurt were not in the living room but seated around the kitchen table instead. There was an empty bowl of cereal in front of Finn, and half-eaten white scrambled eggs by Kurt. They both held empty cups of coffee, and their attention quickly snapped to the unexpected riser.

"Good morning Diva! You're up early. I thought your class wasn't until late in the afternoon." Kurt sounded a lot more chipper greeting her than he did just a couple of minutes ago before she made her entrance.

"Oh, no I don't have class today," Kurt glanced at her knowing full well that she had a class that day. Rachel tried to ignore him and looked toward Finn, "Morning Finn, did you sleep alright on the futon?"

Finn looked toward her direction but Rachel knew that he was looking at something behind her, avoiding her, "Fine. Thanks."

Kurt eyed the couple and rolled his eyes. He swiftly grabbed the lonely toast from his plate and said, "Well, I have to go now. Isabelle said I could join today's meeting," Rachel's eyes lit up and gave Kurt a full blown smile, "Yes, I'm happy too, Diva, but she said I could only join if I got everyone's coffee and croissants. So I have to go now if I want to be on time." Kurt rose from his chair and made his way to the door. He stopped, turned back and gave Finn and tight hug. Rachel noticed that the hug lasted longer than normal and was now even more curious as to what was going on between them. When Kurt finally let go of his brother, Finn eyed him suspiciously. "That hug was… Because I've missed you brother of mine." Rachel shifted uncomfortably, sensing that the hug was for some other unknown reason.

"Well I missed you too lil bro." Finn gave Kurt one of his signature lopsided grins, "Have a good day. Bye."

"See you later Kurt," Rachel said.

Once Kurt was out of the loft, Rachel made her way to the kitchen to make herself a fresh cup of coffee. She sat down at the other end of the table opposite Finn. Rachel looked at Finn, while he kept a hard stare on Kurt's unfinished eggs. So many questions filled her mind, many from the previous night's lack of sleep, and even more from the conversation she overheard. She had thought of things to say, prepared herself for a possible argument, or even some sort of reconciliation. The one thing she hadn't thought of was how to start the actual _talk_.

Rachel was about to break the silence but Finn beat her to it, "Rachel, I'm so sorry about last night." Finn finally looked at her. He looked straight into her eyes instead of through her. She noticed how the table trembled from his shaking legs underneath and how his fingers drummed on his tightly held cup. She longed to take his hands and smooth them over, make him calm down a bit. She wanted to be able to prevent the tension between them to grow even more. No matter how angry she was at him for making her go to New York by herself, she was worried. She worried that he would get hurt in the army, she worried that their relationship would never get fixed, she worried that she would lose him forever. And after having overheard the conversation earlier, her worry for Finn grew even more. So it was hard for her to be mad at Finn at the moment. Her blood boiled every time she remembered memories of Finn's devious plan, but her heart ached more at the sight of the broken man facing her.

Rachel gave Finn the warmest smile she could conjure, "How about we forget about last night," She caught Finn's attempt at hiding more hurt from showing on his face. Little did he know, one look at his amber eyes and she could read all his emotions in a second. She knows that he also has questions for her, probably concerning Brody, and he probably wanted to talk about that too, "No, no. I'm just saying that… Let's forget about last night for a bit. And maybe you could just tell me why you came here?" Rachel winced knowing she had said the wrong thing, it made it sound like she didn't want Finn here. She looked at Finn worriedly but was relieved to see his anxious stance slowly disappear.

"I don't know where to start…" he smiled weakly and glanced back down on the table.

"What if… What if I ask you some questions? Would that help a little?" He nodded in response and asked him the question that had been gnawing at her ever since Finn's arrival, "Finn, why aren't you in the army?"

Finn sighed and leaned back on his chair. He ran a hand through his already-ruffled hair and softly said, "I got discharged."

"What do you mean you got discharged? I'm pretty sure a contract with the U.S. Army lasts longer than a couple of months." Finn raised his hands once again, but this time he used them to hide his face in. Rachel looked at him even more carefully now. His hair still had a military cut, which proved that he must have indeed been in the army at some point. His skin looked paler than usual, which made no sense, considering the amount of time recruits spent in the outdoors training. Once Finn let his hands fall back to the table, Rachel noticed newly etched lines on his face and deep dark circles that surrounded his eyes. For a second, she considered that Finn looked a little sickly, but quickly pushed the thought away and patiently waited for him to respond.

"I got a medical discharge."

"Finn! A medical discharge?! Did you get hurt? Are you alright?" To her discontent, Finn found her flustered reaction amusing. He laughed quietly and reached across the table to grab one of her hands. Rachel stopped her blabbering when she felt the contact.

"Rach, relax. I'm fine. I didn't get hurt. Apart from a couple of bruises, splinters and exhaustion, my discharge was more because of…" His face scrunched up as if thinking deeply as to how he should say the following words, "It's more of a problem with this," he gently tapped his temple.

Rachel stared at Finn as if he spoke in another language. "I…I don't understand."

"_Finn Hudson, you will be receiving a medical discharge from the U.S. Army due to mental instability that could potentially be deemed a liability on the field_." Rachel was taken aback with the humorous tone that Finn seemed to be taking the situation. "That's what my Commanding Officer told me when he delivered the news."

"Oh Finn, I'm so sorry," Rachel gave Finn a sympathetic look but her heart skipped a beat in joy when she finally understood that he wouldn't be in the army anymore. She was relieved to find out that she wouldn't have to worry about Finn's safety but, "I'm so sorry about that Finn, I know how important it was for you to honor your father, to redeem his reputation." She rose from her seat and took another one closer Finn. She took one of his hands and rubbed them softly soothingly. She was about to ask another question when it dawned on her, _what's wrong with Finn's head?_ "So, what do you mean by, there's something wrong with your…" and she gently tapped his head just as he did earlier.

Finn smiled at her and calmly said, "It turns out that I suffer from an Anxiety Disorder, so I get panic attacks," Rachel's head cocked to one side which urged him to continue even more, "My therapist, I had one in Atlanta for a two months, said that with the stuff I was going through over the summer, it was normal to feel stressed. You know, with me not getting into Pace, making you…making you leave," Rachel saw Finn's shoulders slump and she too felt herself slowly sink away from the conversation. She heard Finn take a deep breath as if preparing himself to continue, "I joined the army, I left home, but most of all I was lost. I didn't know what to do with myself, at least not anymore. So I got stressed. Dr. Weisman said that everything accumulated in such a short time that I quickly developed a mild form of Anxiety Disorder."

Rachel felt Finn's fingers gradually slip from her grasp but she held them tighter, lifted them up to her lips and gave a soft kiss on the tip of his knuckles. Finn looked at her in shock but she ignored him and continued to rub his hands. "Is that why you fainted last night?"

Finn looked away from her in shame and nodded. She stopped rubbing his hands and took his left arm to hug instead. This was the only way she could prove to herself that Finn was all right. He is sitting right next to her and he'll be fine. He will be, at least that's what she heard Finn tell Kurt earlier. His gaze hesitantly made its way back toward Rachel and couldn't keep himself from kissing the top of her head in reassurance, it was out of habit after all, "The fainting doesn't usually happen. The last time it happened, it was with my unit, we were practicing drills and I got stressed about doing the right thing, and I basically thought about too many things all at once and so I fainted. That's what prompted my Commanding Officer to discharge me."

Rachel stiffened, lifted her head off from Finn arm and stood from her seat. She took a couple of steps away from Finn and said "So last night… Last night you fainted because of me. I made you faint? That doesn't make sense! You said you fainted because you haven't slept in 28 hours."

"Well… That was a lie, I didn't want to just burden you with what I just told you. And it wasn't really you." Rachel's eyes widened, clearly taking all the blame, "It was definitely not you, Rach. I fainted because of myself. It happened because I wasn't able to control my emotions at the moment." Rachel pursed her lips tightly and started making her way toward the living room. She stopped, looked back at Finn, and started pacing, mumbling things Finn couldn't hear. "It wasn't your fault, Rach. That's why I'm seeing someone to help me control myself. To prevent the fainting from happening ever again." He followed Rachel, but stopped a few steps away from her, afraid to invade her space.

"It's just… Last night… Finn, last night you came unannounced. I had no idea you were coming. If I did I would never have asked Bro—" She stopped talking before she said something that would spark Finn's anxiety. She didn't want him to start thinking about Brody and get another panic attack. After all, that is what they had been talking about the previous night before Finn fainted.

"About that. Your, um…about your _friend_ Brody. I wanted to talk about that." Finn walked past her and sat on the futon, he patted the empty space next to him, urging Rachel to join him. "I thought about our conversation before and after my decided to take a dive down your floor." He grinned at her, and she felt her own lips curl into a small smile. "I had _a lot_ of time to think about it last night and… I still mean what I said to you last night."

Rachel felt her heart drop. The only things Finn really said last night were not necessarily good news for them. First he kept saying that it was everything was a mistake, then he got hurt finding out about Brody, then he had broke up with her. Officially. "What do you mean?"

"Rach, before I say anything, and before you take anything the wrong way, I just want you to know that I love you. A lot." He risked taking a hold of her hands, "I love you so much that it hurts me to say what I'm about to say and what I was too afraid too say at the train station," Rachel closed her eyes and felt a tear slowly escaping.

"Stop," She said, "Don't say what I think you're about to say. I don't want you to, and I know you don't want to either." She looked at him pleadingly.

"Rachel, there's a reason why you went out with that Brody guy. And Kurt's told me about him and he sounds like a good guy." He smiled but she could sense the hurt his voice carried.

"But I don't care about Brody the way I care about you!"

"Look, Rach, I don't like it that you found it so easy to move on from me so quickly. I… I just thought that since it took us three years to get where we are, that the love we have for each other would be strong enough to get past through what I made us go through over the summer."

"Finn I just don't get it. At the train station, you told me to _let go_, and you also told me to _surrender_. Last night, what you saw, what I told you about last night, that was me trying to let go. But like I said last night, once I saw you, what I shared with Brody that night didn't matter because you were there. You came back." Rachel swiped the tears away from her face. "What happened wasn't me giving up on us. It was me _trying _and_ failing_ to get over you. And when I saw you, I was glad. I was just so glad to see you. But I still don't get it."

"Ok, what don't you get?"

"I don't get how you get to tell me to surrender, come back, and expect me to take you back in a heartbeat. Me kissing Brody, me going on a date, that was me doing exactly what you sent me here to New York all alone for. I was _surrendering_ for you, and I didn't like it.

"I just wanted you to follow your dreams without having me there to pull you back. I didn't want to be in your way. But I didn't break up with you either Rach," He looked down at his hands to find them trembling, he rubbed them together to calm himself. "So that's why I'm doing it now."

Rachel's breathing hitched as her sobbing grew heavier. "No… I don't want you to." She whispered.

"Rach we have to," his voice broke as he talked, "We both… we both have things to work out about ourselves. Separately." She looked towards him and found that his eyes were now watery and red. "Not to mention my new condition. I don't want you to have to worry about me taking my meds and following my treatment or finding myself again while you should be doing your homework. I want you to put all your focus on yourself so that you can become that star that I know you can be."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me again…"

"I'm so sorry Rach, but you know we have to do this. I know that we're meant to be. And I know that in the future, when we've both made something of ourselves, we'll find our way to each other again. I know it." He took her left hand and kissed the spot where her engagement ring had once resided. "And if things work out well enough, I'll make sure to ask you to marry me again."

"I'll wait for you Finn Hudson." She hugged him tightly, "And I hope that you will too."

**~ . ~ . ~ . ~ **

**A/N: Wow I'm pretty sure that ending was crappy… LOL**

**I'm sorry it took so long to update, turns out midterms weren't over yet.**

**BTW, I borrowed a Glee Project name in this post, so if you find it let me know in a review! **

**As usual, review, criticize or say hi =)  
Again thank you for reading!**


End file.
